Dear men-who-hang-out-near-the-underpass-on-the-trail-I-ride-home (and I don't mean to be sexist, but you are always men),
1--Why do you hang out there? It's stinky, full of broken glass, and creepy. Then again, maybe that's why you hang out there.
2--How many of you are there? Although I have never seen any one individual more than once, and you are of different ages and races, I must assume that you all belong to the same tribe, as your behavior is unfailingly obnoxious, and at least 5 of you are there EVERY afternoon/evening when I bike home, regardless of the time.
3--I hate to be the one to break this to you, but..."Hey, baby, can I get a riiiide?" does not actually inspire women to cancel their plans for the evening, do a 180 on their bike, and jump your bones. (p.s. Nor is it particularly original.)
4--Whether out of aggressiveness or cluelessness, it's just not charming when you hog the whole trail. Would it really kill you to move over, for just a second, so that I can pass?
5--I would like you to know that I plan to continue to take this route. For one thing, alternate routes involve alarming amounts of cars anxious to escape their work days and head home. For another, I don't think you're really dangerous...you just want to display your machismo so your buddies don't notice your inadequacies.
Finally, you don't get to hog the trail. I have just as much right to be there as you.